3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize