I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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