we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
