If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
