Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
