Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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