i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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