Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
