her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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