scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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