Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
