doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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