Small penises have feelings too.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
