You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
