You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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