I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
