So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
