i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
