Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
