he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
