Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
