Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
