can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
