Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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