apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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