i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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