May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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