if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
