highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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