Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
