i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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