I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
