Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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