I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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