Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
