hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
