i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
