do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
