How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
PANTIES FOUND
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