Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
