I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
