Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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