Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
