I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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