this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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