OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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