...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
