i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!