the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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