oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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