life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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