he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
