He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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