is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
