I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
