He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
