Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
