Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
