im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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