sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
