if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
