Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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