found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
