I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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