The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
