That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I smell stomach acid.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
