I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
