I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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